How Its Fake..and The Smile that you all know

Why
why should i always pretend?
i pretend
you never know it
you all will just think that im very happy
actually im not
im so sad in my
deep deeep
HEART
there was once
im happy
but now im not..
i never happy
just never
cause im a idiot
who always disturb people
sms disturb people
msn disturb people
now im so sad
why im so idiot
always kacau people
i will
change
my self
into
a quiet
quiet person
i will always smile
to pretend that im happy
to act
that
you all will never know
the sadness
in
my deep deep heart
you all will
forever dont know
that the smile i make
is try to cover the sadness
you all will never know
how is the sadness doin in my heart
how its controlling my emotion
how its making me fake smile
how its make me to forgot every happy thing
how evil is it
you all will never know..
never..
perhaps someone
would spend time
to hear all my sadness
i wish there are one people
but there is'nt
that is wat i scare about people
buddy
friends
thats what i scare..forever
it will never leave me
it will never
guys
try to remember this
not to bother me
just leave me alone
with this sadness
until
the day when im gone
that im disposed
pls dont bother it..
just leave me alone..